Refocusing

I've been doing really good with this weight loss business. I formulated a plan and I've been succeeding at following it. There have been some bumps in the road, but I just continued to do what I was doing and not let them derail me.

But I've hit a really big bump. I'm stressed and I'm weary, and for the first time in this journey, I've been careless, and indulgent and at risk of failing again.

I need to refocus.

My mind is all cluttered with stress, and some resurfaced sadness as the anniversary of Everett's death is approaching. Difficult emotions are welling up, they're boiling over, and I'm not feeling equipped to deal with them at all. I took on a lot of extra work, to make Christmas easier, to make living easier, and I have found its just the opposite, I'm getting worn out, and frustrated, and I want to just shut down and forget it all. I'm angry at the work I took on, and not enjoying myself at all. And I just want to quit. I want to quit stressing and working and trying in general for a while. But I can't. It doesn't work that way.

So, I need to refocus. Big time.

I watched the Biggest Loser tonight, and got re-inspired by Rebecca, who got eliminated but succeeded none the less in reaching her goals and transforming her life. I want to be like her. I want to be a Big Loser! I want to narrow in on my goals and the person I want to be, and then I want to go for it, and be that person, in reality, not just in my head.

I've had a few days of stumbling, those are to be expected, they come to us all. But my goal is to now get back up and keep going, and not let stumbles turn into something bigger.

I'm re-focused and going to succeed.

Katie