God help me!

I'm having one of those days.

One of those days where I just want to implode. One of those days where everything appears outwardly right but feels inwardly all wrong. And there's no comfort in sight.

God help me (and I know He will), I need some strength and comfort today!

Today is one of those days where I feel like I'm 100 years old and weigh 1000 pounds. I feel weighed down and depleted and old and tired and I hate it.

But, on a hopeful note, I have no intentions of falling off the diet wagon. Actually, I feel compelled to work out, as soon as the kiddo's are asleep. I want to run, and sweat and move my body, and maybe kick box away some frustration and anger that's building up inside me.

Its one of those days.

For a few days some of my big life issues seemed to be vanishing before my eyes, but that process has reversed itself and I'm back at the start again, feeling tired and frustrated and a little discouraged, and a whole lot of lonely. Typically when feeling like this, I'd drown my sorrows in ice cream and the like and just quit my dieting attempts all together, but tonight I feel relieved that even though so much is failing in my life, I can still take pleasure in knowing that I am still on track with my diet and can still transform my body, so I won't quit, today is NOT one of those days!

Today is one of those days, where its hard to feel hopeful about your life. Where your issues seem too big for the solutions available to you. But then I remember that there's no issue too big for God, and his solutions are perfect. I've happily surrendered these issues to him, after struggling for far too long, and I am relieved to see that He's taken them and is working with them, and I can already see His changes playing out before my eyes.'

My faith is stronger
My confidence is bigger
My resolve is greater
My fear is weakened
My heart is comforted
My sleep is sounder

So, today is one of those days where I want to implode from the frustration of being so flawed and imperfect and out of control of my life. Feeling like I have no say in what happens to me makes me feel desperate and afraid, until I remember that I haven't ever been in control at all. God is at the wheel, and I can trust where he is taking me. There's no need for fear today, or ever.

I'm going to work out tonight, like I really, really mean it. I'm going to celebrate the opportunity to recreate my body, into a healthy, vibrant and attractive body that makes me proud and helps me give my best to my kids and to myself. I'm not going to indulge in any of those vices that are actually failure traps that trip me up and ruin my best laid plans.

I'm going to celebrate. For every issue I'm facing is an opportunity for change and growth, each problem steers me down a new path. Its exciting.

Katie