Day 8

Or, day 1 of WEEK 2 if you will ;)

I'm still here and doing fabulously!

Last week I lost a whopping 12.6 pounds! I don't expect that kind of loss every week, but Holy Moly! That's just too cool!

So, I'm still here, gearing up for my first Tony Horton 10 Minute Trainer workout and hoping it doesn't totally lay me out flat!

Will update again!

Katie

The dreaded "before"

Today I took the dreaded "before" picture. It was unsettling. It's an eye opener to say the least, to see how I look to the rest of the world. It made me sad. but it also made me more determined to change.

So, today is day 7, and I'm still here.

Katie

Day 4!

Today is my fourth consecutive day of "trying" to lose weight, and all is well!

Elvis has jumped on board with me and we're planning healthy meals together and its been really helpful in keeping me motivated and on track with my goals!

I've increased my water intake, not a huge amount yet, but from 0 glasses a day to around 4, so it's a start! I've had Biggest Loser quality weight loss this week, which is also very motivating and I feel postive and confidant that I can keep this up!

Today we're all going out together, usually this means we're going to the mall, and usually this means a Teen Burger Combo with fries and gravy, not good! Today I asked Elvis if we could go out AFTER lunch, so I could stay at home and not be tempted to cheat so early in the game, and he of course agreed. So today I am determined to stay on course and not be sidetracked or derailed by temptation!

We ordered 10 Minute Trainer and it should be arriving next week, and then the real work will begin! Exercise, EEEEK! It scares me because I know I am bad at it, I know it will be uncomfortable, I know it will hurt and I am dreading it, but also I am really looking forward to the great results it will bring me!

I'll update again, I am not dissapearing this time!

Katie

Stepping back in!

I've been off track for a loooooooooooooong, looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time. I have some good excuses and some bad ones, but I won't start making exuses for myself here. I let myself go, further then I have ever gone off track before and I'm here now trying to get myself on course again!

For the first time in my history of being overweight, I feel really overweight. I feel it. My body hurts, my feet and knees hurt. I actually feel obese, and it's awful! I need to stop this. I need to quit choosing failure and start choosing success.

I'm so consumed by food. I have truly let food become my master, and I am tired of being a slave to my cravings and my weakness.

Romans 14:17 says this :For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit

Why do I spend so much time thinking about food?

Why do I crave food when I am hurting, when I'm lonely, when I'm angry?

Because I'm weak, and I'm leaning on myself and not on God. I'm not thinking about what God has planned for me and my body, if I were I wouldn't be gorging myself the way I do, I wouldn't have eaten myself to this unrecognizable version of me. This version doesn't glorify God and the blessed life He's given me, rather it's burdened, it's unhealthy and it lacks joy and energy.

Out with this version and in with a new one! One that can move and play and dance and enjoy all that God has given! I want to play with my kids, I want to be active, I want to dance and swim without hessitation! I want to feel unburdened and healthy.

The time is now!

Katie

I'm alive!

I'm sorry I vanished from the blog, if anyone notices or actually cares, haha.

Life make a big turn for the better and I got distracted, very, very distracted, and slipped back into some old pattern.

But I'd like to find my way back to this little "project" of mine.

I've got a few problems I was facing resolved, and I'm continuing to grow and change, but my weight loss has stalled and I need to rectify that, now!

Back on track for the new year, who's with me?

Katie

Is there anything better then.....

life getting notably better, right before your eyes?

I don't think so.

I am so happy today I would do cartwheels, if I could do cartwheels ;)

I feel as though I have successfully waded through one of the roughest patches of my life, and have finally come through on the other side, and in one piece. The grey skies have abated and the sun is shining through and the horizons look fabulous.

I feel waves of relief and peace washing over me.

Pure comfort and ease for the first time in months.

I feel something close to elation.

Something much like bliss.

I feel so good, and so blessed, and so absolutely cared for. And I feel grateful.

Of course, things aren't perfect, they never are, but they are improving, and they are good, and I have hope, and its as good as it can get I think.

Strangely enough, the emotional eater in me wants to indulge these warm and fuzzy feelings with fudge, the same as it would sad and gloomy feelings, that's unfortunate, because I have a vacation to plan for and a bathing suit to fit in to!

Katie

Refocusing

I've been doing really good with this weight loss business. I formulated a plan and I've been succeeding at following it. There have been some bumps in the road, but I just continued to do what I was doing and not let them derail me.

But I've hit a really big bump. I'm stressed and I'm weary, and for the first time in this journey, I've been careless, and indulgent and at risk of failing again.

I need to refocus.

My mind is all cluttered with stress, and some resurfaced sadness as the anniversary of Everett's death is approaching. Difficult emotions are welling up, they're boiling over, and I'm not feeling equipped to deal with them at all. I took on a lot of extra work, to make Christmas easier, to make living easier, and I have found its just the opposite, I'm getting worn out, and frustrated, and I want to just shut down and forget it all. I'm angry at the work I took on, and not enjoying myself at all. And I just want to quit. I want to quit stressing and working and trying in general for a while. But I can't. It doesn't work that way.

So, I need to refocus. Big time.

I watched the Biggest Loser tonight, and got re-inspired by Rebecca, who got eliminated but succeeded none the less in reaching her goals and transforming her life. I want to be like her. I want to be a Big Loser! I want to narrow in on my goals and the person I want to be, and then I want to go for it, and be that person, in reality, not just in my head.

I've had a few days of stumbling, those are to be expected, they come to us all. But my goal is to now get back up and keep going, and not let stumbles turn into something bigger.

I'm re-focused and going to succeed.

Katie